dankmemeuniversity:

(via ruinedchildhood)

(Source: veryfunnymemes, via confirmance)

(Source: hilarioushumorfromouterspace, via perks-of-being-chinese)

garcondesfleurs:

greyerwardens:

katielittlejohn:

soorajmakhi:

theyellowbrickroad:

theyellowbrickroad:

Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex legitimately thought he killed me with his dick???

Ok so picture this I’m 18 and excited about sex, trying out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty similar position to this

And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god damn Slip N Slide ok. And he’s pounding at it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go right back in… But something is wrong. He’s about to enter….

The. Wrong. Hole.

And my eyes widen, I go to shout “noooo!!!!” But it’s all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap right up onto my feet.

We had only been dating a couple of months at this time and there was something very important he did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If I’m in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, “I am going to pass out.”

He doesn’t know I’m serious, he thinks I’m just being emotional, and he’s like “no baby come here” but as he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole body falls on the ground.

He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally assumes I’m dead. A couple minutes later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he sent me to the grave with some accidental anal sex.

SIMONE I AM YELLING

Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I didn’t make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after all.

(via confirmance)

nancyhsu1990:

Taiwan High Speed Rail turned the latest train into the world’s first Cartoon Network theme train.

Had a great time riding it, though somehow it seems that parents are more excited then the kids…

(Source: districtcorner, via ruinedchildhood)

angel-baez:

No commercial has yet to top this

(Source: ankle-beez, via zackisontumblr)

fate:

“Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense.”

— Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower (via coral)

(via hirsikisses)

dw:

when someone gives you directions but you go the wrong way

(Source: fake, via 808dilly)

bordermatecrinkles:

robb-the-reaver:

hardstoplucas1:

When you call somebody’s name but they don’t know where it’s coming from

This is genuinely frightening

You know when a horror movie has so many jokes it feels more like a comedy? This is the exact opposite of that

(via southpauz)

rneerkat:

studmuffin2014:

rneerkat:

i cant believe that bacteria would just intrude into my body without my permission. that makes me sick.. 

It does make you sick. Literally.

wow ha ha ur right i shouldve made this into a joke!!

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

jedifish81:

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

evans-and-ackles:

domdoobiedodomdom:

Ok, I must confess… I laughed entirely too hard at this. 😂😂

Well, she’s not wrong..

(Source: mattsgifs, via kardashiansfuckyeah)

classsybeauty:

princessdiamond:

Follow for more glam

💋💄Classsybeauty💄💋

(Source: baddies)

classsybeauty:

💋💄Classsybeauty💄💋

(Source: angelicprzncess)

classsybeauty:

💋💄Classsybeauty💄💋

(Source: gucciigal)